{"product_id":"kidney-stone-national-reserve-shirt-protected-geological-formation-tee","title":"Kidney Stone National Reserve Shirt, Protected Geological Formation Tee","description":"WELCOME TO THE RESERVE.\n\nDeep within the Renal Highlands lies a rare and naturally occurring geological phenomenon: painfully beautiful crystal formations formed entirely under pressure.\n\nThis fantasy national park parody design features towering crystal mountains, a winding river system, wildflowers, and an extremely suspicious anatomical resemblance that kidney stone veterans will recognize immediately.\n\nDesigned for:\n\nkidney stone survivors\nchronic illness gremlins\nhydrated-but-still-cursed individuals\ncrystal-loving forest wanderers\npeople whose body decided to start manufacturing minerals internally\n\nFeaturing vintage WPA-style park badge aesthetics mixed with cozy cottagecore fantasy vibes, this shirt walks the perfect line between beautiful and medically concerning.\n\nBottom text:\n“Protected Geological Formation”\n\nBecause apparently your body considered these a natural resource.\n\nPerfect for nephrology humor, chronic condition meme culture, recovery gifts, or wearing while aggressively drinking water and bargaining with the universe.\n\nProduct features\n- 100% ring-spun US cotton for lasting comfort\n- Garment-dyed finish for soft color and texture\n- Heavyweight 6.1 oz fabric with relaxed, pre-shrunk fit\n- No side seams and double-needle stitched seams for durability\n- Available S–4XL (58 colors); sewn-in label for clean neckline\n\nCare instructions\n- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\n- Do not bleach\n- Tumble dry: low heat\n- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\n- Do not dryclean","brand":"A Breach In Taste","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48117903130798,"sku":null,"price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0751\/1611\/8190\/files\/8e7bcca7-il_fullxfull.8089597159_gz6s.jpg?v=1784580815","url":"https:\/\/abreachintaste.com\/products\/kidney-stone-national-reserve-shirt-protected-geological-formation-tee","provider":"A Breach In Taste","version":"1.0","type":"link"}